Jackhole goes to Starbucks

After finishing a healthy lunch today, I had a craving for a Starbucks Venti Chai Latte. Driving up to Starbucks, I noticed an unusual excess of cars in the parking lot. So I began circling the Starbucks. Patiently I searched for a spot. Driving around, and around, and around the building. So many times that I started counting. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen… ah ha… a spot. Should I be concerned that it’s about three blocks away from the building? Hell, no, I need my Venti Chai Latte.

I walk right up to the counter and the nice girl behind the register greets me. She asks me what I want and I reply “I’ll take a Venti Chai Latte please”. Of course I’m still fuming over my parking lot escapade. I’m thinking to myself “What kind of Jackhole circles the building fourteen times for a stinking cup of tea”? Oh, that would be me. So the nice little girl behind the counter asks me my name. (Starbucks likes to write your name on the cup so they can call you by name when your drink is ready.) The girl asks me my name again and I reply “JACKHOLE”! She asks me if Jackhole is my real name. I said “It is today”. “I drove around looking for a spot fourteen times”. Another girl looks at me and says “Was that you in the green truck”?. “Yeah”, I replied. “That was me”… the JACKHOLE”.

My attention get diverted for a second while another girl holding a sampler assortment of coffee offers me one. I grab one and think about it for a second and say “Did you say this was coffee”? She replies “Yes”. Not wanting coffee, I put it back on the tray. She grabs it and turns around to throw it in the garbage. I said “Oh, that’s the PC thing to do”. “Toss it out”. “You wouldn’t want to offend anybody now would you”. The register girl shouts “No way JACKHOLE!” I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in a Starbucks or any other coffee shop for that matter.

When my Venti Chai Latte is finally ready. The kid yells out “Hey JACKHOLE !” “Your VENTI CHAI LATTE is ready JACKHOLE !”. The other Starbuckers behind the counter say “BYE JACKHOLE!”. “See you tomorrow, JACKHOLE !”