Funny New Years quotes

With yet another new year upon us, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the wisdom people have shared over the years.

Mark Twain
New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

Jay Leno
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

Charles Lamb
New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

Oprah Winfrey
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

Bill Vaughn
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

William Thomas
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.

Oscar Wilde
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

John Selden
Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.