Mmm, fresh bacon breath

Toothpaste has been around for thousands of years. It is thought that the Egyptians used a paste to clean their teeth as far back as 5000BC. The Romans and Greeks improved the formula by adding crushed bones and oyster shells to the paste for more abrasiveness. The more modern toothpastes were flavored with peppermint, mint, and spearmint. Other flavors were later added, cinnamon, orange, etc.

Until now, there have not been any good meat flavored toothpaste. Get ready to fire up that toothbrush with some bacon sizzled toothpaste. From the pan to your pearly whites. Perfect for a first date or any important occasion. Here is the product description on Archie McPhee:

Brushing your teeth with a strip of fried bacon is tricky. If it’s too crisp it will break apart as you brush and if it’s too limp you won’t be able to remove any of the plaque. So when it’s time to brush your teeth, leave the bacon strips for breakfast and try this Bacon Toothpaste. It’s the perfect way to keep your teeth and gums healthy while coating your mouth with the delicious flavor of smoky meat!

Who hasn’t tried brushing their teeth with bacon. I once tried raw chicken but that also proved very tricky. In a pinch you could always use soap or dirt from the bottom of your shoes. If the above description doesn’t have you whipping out your credit card, I can’t imagine what would. Doesn’t everyone clamor for the the delicious flavor of smoky meat on their breath?

For some strange reason, Pickle toothpaste seems more palatable. Maybe not in the general sense but compared to the Bacon toothpaste, it may prove a better choice. Of course Cupcake toothpaste would seem like cracking open one of those store bought frosting and brushing away. It’s probably less expensive as well.

Archie McPhee sells the tantalizing toothpastes on their web site. I love their tagline – “Slightly less disappointing than other companies.” Now that’s my kind of company!

Bacon toothpaste
Pickle toothpaste
Cupcake toothpaste