This is arguably the best political product of the year!

I can see this sitting handsomely at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Sure, Grandpa, I would love another helping of cranberry sauce. Oh, and can you pass Hillary too. I have a couple of nuts over here that need cracking.

It’s easy to use:
Step 1: Put nut between legs
Step 2: Squeeze

You too can own this wonderful nutcracker. Just head over to Overstock.com. In the link, Head over to bradsdeals.com for extra savings.

Happy nut cracking!

Congratulations dinosaurs – welcome to the nineties! Now you can trade in your 8-tracks, cassettes, and compact discs for the latest new fangled technology. An MP3 player!

Fans can purchase songs including the tired and overplayed Stairway to Heaven and Whole Lotta Love digitally for the first time. Guitarist Jimmy Page was quoted as saying that he was pleased with the move, which would “better enable fans to obtain our music in whatever manner they prefer”. Wow Jimmy, you are right on the cusp of technology. What’s next, a haircut? Say it isn’t so.

Although the group have sold more than 300 million albums worldwide their release on digital stores like iTunes will only add more cash in ‘ol Robert Plant’s pocket. Good thing I already ripped my CD’s.

When jetBlue first rolled out in 2001, I was one of the early adopters. No first class, all leather seats, DirectTV… WHAT, TV on a plane? Why didn’t anyone think of that before. After watching television on a trip from Ft. Lauderdale to New York, I was hooked. How could I possibly fly any other airline. Why would I want to fly any other airline.

So there it is. JetBlue figured out what jet setters wanted and boy did they deliver. Did I care about the simple snacks served on jetBlue? Those terraBLUE chips. (Okay, I get it, I get it), those cookies, and all the other tasty morsels they offer. The snacks are unlimited and you can eat as many snacks as you wish. They even give you little bottles of water. Doesn’t this make sense on a plane. It sure beats those sad little cups of water those other airlines offer.

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From time to time I like to google my name – Stephen Chip. It’s not that common a name really. My grandfather, of Hungarian decent, shortened it from Chipkar when my father was a boy. He said it sounded more American and would be easier for people to pronounce. The funny thing is that anytime I give my last name, I always have to say “CHIP… C, H, I, P”. Most people will repeat ship, chips, etc. So, either way it requires some additional work on my part.

I googled my name and much to my amazement, I found this from the Old Bailey Proceedings, 25th April, 1688:

Stephen Chip , was Indicted for stealing from Ann Jennings of Branford in Middlesex, on the 7th of April, 1 Silver Porrenger value 20 s. 2 Silver Tasters value 8 s. 3 Jacobus pieces, Rings, 30 l. in Mony, and other things : It appeared that the Prisoner had been her Apprentice, and that he had left open the Windows whereby other Thieves had got into the House, and that she had lost the things at several times; but the Prosecutor not being positive as to the Prisoner, and other circumstances concurring, he was brought in not Guilty.

Wholly crap, I don’t remember jumping in a time machine and going back 319 years. Amazing there is even a record of it. The good news is THAT guy was found not guilty.

Some random photos of some of my favorite photos that I’ve taken.

Seeing MINI KISS of course. However, they don’t play any instruments but hey, who does these days! I was a huge fan of KISS when I was a kid. This made me laugh out loud. Great parody.

We have three dogs living in our house. The oldest dog likes to drink out of the toilet. Yuk! Now your cat can use the toilet to do his/her business. Your toilet. Say goodbye to the litter box forever.

Now I’m not a big fan of cats. They’re self absorbed, silly little animals. With that said, I’m pretty sure I’m not going share my living space with a cat let alone my toilet. But hey, what do you want, I’m a dog lover.

It’s bad enough dealing with the panic of having to use a public restroom stall. Who knows who was in there before. Isn’t refreshing to know that you can now share the toilet seat with your cat. Not at the same time mind you.

For only 29 bucks you can teach your cat to use the toilet instead of a kitty litter box with a special toilet seat trainer. A fair price considering you no longer have to buy kitty litter.

Toilet Training Benefits

• Never scoop litter again
• Eliminate offensive odors
• Maintain a healthier home
• Save over $175 per year on litter

I’m not talking about the counterfeit watches you can buy in the middle of Times Square in NYC. These are authentic fake watches. Sweet idea. More of a bracelet than a watch but still very clever.

realfakewatches are wristwatches that only work for one minute every day (well, two for analog ones). they are being made by linda kostowski and invited other designers.

the watches are laser cut from three pieces of genuine leather and manually assembled. they are fastened with velcro. each one comes with both a unique time (hand-picked by our randomizer robot) and a thinglink engraved on the back.

I stopped wearing a watch a couple of years ago. I’ve never missed it. I think at this point it would seem weird if I started wearing one again. If I want to know the time, I just check my mobile phone.

The other day a random conversation broke out about what it would be like to be a worker who cleans septic tanks. As you can imagine, the jokes ensued. A crappy job with crappy wages. What do you do? I work with crap all day, and you? So after about 5 minutes or so, all jokes were exhausted.

Speaking of crap, here is an ad that makes a point… I guess. I especially like the title “There are better ways to make career”. Click here to see different angles.

You would never be able to get away with anything like this in the states. Everyone is far too PC and uptight.

This was shot a year and a half ago. The camera microphone picked up a lot of extraneous noise, so here is the text for the video:
Hello! Welcome to downtown London. The famous Garfunkels. Garfunkels runs it’s business a little differently than everyone else. What they do is they take everything from Simon’s down the street, repackage it and sell it to make money. Much like Simon and Garfunkel. So, you don’t necessarily have to know how to run a business. You just have to know who to pair up with. Kudos to you Art Garfunkel. A rich man with no talent. But a good voice.
Video text: Hello! Welcome to downtown London. The famous Garfunkels. Garfunkels runs it’s business a little differently than everyone else. What they do is they take everything from Simon’s down the street, repackage it and sell it to make money. Much like Simon and Garfunkel. So, you don’t necessarily have to know how to run a business. You just have to know who to pair up with. Kudos to you Art Garfunkel. A rich man with no talent. But a good voice.
Edit

In the heart of London: The famous Garfunkels and Jeff take on it on Vimeo

Two years ago my pal Jeff and I traveled to Amsterdam. He shouldn’t have ordered the burger but he did. I tasted it and it was pretty bad.

Worst Burger in Europe on Vimeo

This is the outtake reel. I think it’s actually better than the original. This guy Matt basically was sponsored by Stride gum to dance around the world. Not a bad deal